Article Summary

For solo caregivers, the responsibility of caring for an aging parent or loved one can be both deeply meaningful and incredibly challenging. In recognition of National Family Caregivers Month, United Hebrew’s Nora O’Brien, Chief Operating Officer of Willow Towers Assisted Living, shares personal and practical advice on how to manage burnout, find support, and know when to ask for help.

November is National Family Caregivers Month, a time to recognize the millions of Americans who dedicate themselves to caring for loved ones. For those serving as only caregivers — without siblings or extended family to share the responsibility — the journey can feel especially isolating.

Nora O’Brien, Chief Operating Officer of Willow Towers Assisted Living at United Hebrew, understands that reality, first-hand. After her brother passed away, she became the sole caregiver for her parent.

“The hardest part of being an only-child caregiver is that no one else knows your loved one the way you do,” says O’Brien. “When you have siblings, you share a lifetime of memories and understanding. When it’s just you, there’s no one to call and ask what your parent might want. Even a supportive spouse or friend only knows your loved one through a limited perspective. That can feel very isolating.”

How can caregivers take better care of themselves?

Caregiving for a loved one can be emotionally rewarding but also physically and mentally draining. Nora encourages caregivers to be compassionate with themselves.

“My best advice is to recognize how much you are doing and to be kind to yourself,” she says. “Appreciate the effort and energy that caregiving takes. When you reach the point where you have nothing left to give, don’t feel guilty. It’s not failure, it’s self-awareness.”

That self-awareness includes taking care of one’s own health — something caregivers often overlook.

“Caregivers tend to neglect their own appointments or health because they’re too busy managing someone else’s needs,” O’Brien explains. “Try not to do that. Keep your doctor visits, schedule your dental cleaning, and make your own health a priority.”

Finding time to recharge can make a world of difference. Whether it’s a walk, a yoga class, or simply a few quiet minutes with a cup of coffee, small moments of self-care help maintain balance.

“Whatever helps you feel calm and grounded, make time for it,” she says.

When should a caregiver ask for help?

Many caregivers struggle to accept help when it’s offered.

“It’s easy to say no because you don’t want to be a burden,” says O’Brien. “But people offer because they care. Let them drop off dinner or run an errand for you. You would do the same for them.”

Equally important is recognizing personal limits.

“If you’re exhausted after a long day of appointments, you don’t have to go out or attend another event,” she adds. “Protect your energy and know your limits.”

When caregiving begins to feel overwhelming, it may be time to consider additional support.

“Too often caregivers wait until they are completely worn out,” O’Brien says. “When you start to feel stretched thin, explore your options. Speak with a social worker or care team about respite care or assisted living.”

At United Hebrew, caregivers can find a range of resources and guidance.

“We work with families every day who are navigating declines in their loved one’s health or cognition,” she notes. “Talking it out with a senior care professional helps.”

The campus offers short-term respite programs that allow caregivers to take a needed break while knowing their loved one is safe and cared for. Some programs accept Medicaid, helping to ease financial strain for families.

Where can caregivers find support in Westchester?

Loneliness is a common challenge for solo caregivers.

“Being the only person making big medical decisions can feel very heavy,” O’Brien shares. “Let people in. That might be your spouse, your friends, or even a colleague who understands what you’re going through. Sharing your experience lightens the load.”

Support groups can also be a lifeline. United Hebrew partners with the Alzheimer’s Association to host caregiver support groups where participants can connect and share experiences.

“Listening to others who are living through similar situations can make a tremendous difference,” O’Brien says. “Hearing someone else say that their spouse no longer recognizes them helps you realize you’re not alone.”

Faith-based communities and local organizations, such as churches, temples, or JCCs, may also offer programs or can connect caregivers with additional resources. And within care settings like United Hebrew, social workers and nursing teams can provide referrals, arrange meetings with care directors, and help families plan for what comes next.

For those walking the path of caregiving alone, Nora offers a reminder grounded in empathy and experience:

“Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s essential.”

FAQ for Solo Caregivers

What is respite care?
Respite care provides short-term relief for primary caregivers. At United Hebrew, this program allows family caregivers to take time for themselves while their loved one stays safely in a supportive environment with professional staff.

How can I find caregiver support groups near me?
Many hospitals, senior living communities, and nonprofits like the Alzheimer’s Association host caregiver support groups. United Hebrew partners with the Alzheimer’s Association to offer groups right on its New Rochelle campus, open to families throughout Westchester County.

When should I consider assisted living or senior care?
It may be time to explore senior care options when caregiving begins to impact your own health, or when your loved one’s needs exceed what can safely be provided at home. Speaking with a senior care professional, such as a social worker at United Hebrew, can help guide this decision with compassion and clarity.

About the Author

Nora O’Brien is Chief Operating Officer at Willow Towers Assisted Living at United Hebrew. She has more than 25 years of experience helping families navigate complex senior care decisions and is passionate about supporting caregivers with empathy, education, and practical resources.

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